Special Feature: Celebrating Father’s Day Things my Father Taught Me by Miranda Oh
Do you believe in the saying that (as a daughter) you fall in love with someone who is exactly like your father?
I didn’t at first because I used to think it was weird… falling in love with someone like your dad, awkward right? Although, with time to figure out who I was as an adult and learning what I need in a partnership and what I appreciate in a partner; it quickly came to fruition that I was indeed attracting someone that had a lot of similar characteristics and tendencies like my dad.
It took years of trial and error. It even took falling in love with the wrong people for the wrong reasons to learn my lesson. Just like my main character Hadley in my Chin Up Tits Out series, Hadley’s dad was involved in her life, supportive of her decisions (even when they were hard to support) and most of all attempted to lead by example when it came to be how he thought Hadley deserved to be treated as a partner.
Now having a dad that is around growing up, that is involved in activities, academics and sports, in the long run as an adult looking back, that is exactly what kind of guy you wanna fall for. The type of man that takes your ovaries hurt when you see them interact with kids. Looking back it should have been a must on the list of things to look out for in a partner. My dad was a kick-ass dad, and he was an amazing husband to my mom as well, he set the bar high. But as a young adult, you don’t necessarily look at things like that when you’re seeking out a partner, you’re trying to find yourself and that may or may not include looking for someone who is like your dad. For all one knows, your dad maybe wasn’t around growing up, or perhaps not involved with your circulars and activities, or perhaps wasn’t a great husband to your mom, therefore, you’re not wanting to attract that in your future.
It’s all trial and error though, wouldn’t you agree? That at some unconscious level you’re attracting what you know, and at first, when you become an adult, your upbringing is all you know. Hadley attracted someone who she thought on the surface was like her dad. On the contrary during that chapter of her life, she fell in love with someone who wasn’t exactly like her dad and the hardest thing her dad had to do was to support her through it all. Deep down, he knew that if he prohibited her from following her heart, that if it all blew up in her face, she wouldn’t turn to him for comfort and support. Even though he didn’t agree with her choice at that time, he wanted her to always feel safe and protected with him. He chose to support her no matter what. You know you have a great dad if he can support you through the things he may not fully understand.
It’s the long game at that point, knowing that he can bite his tongue now and that if anything bad happens he’ll be there to catch you when you fall. Instead of vice versa, he says flat out “no” and doesn’t offer support, empathy or understanding… know knowing us as women, we will always do it anyway. If it happens to backfire and we lose it all, we won’t be turning towards Daddy for support and help, we will go find it elsewhere.
Time and time again my dad has supported me through all the crazy things I’ve chosen to do in life, and time and time again if I have failed, fell down or needed a moment of safety and security, he has been my go-to. We sat up together to the wee hours of the night drinking scotch staring at the stars trying to solve all the world’s problems, we’ve hugged each other sobbing when things fell apart, we’ve hit the floor laughing so hard we’re in tears, we’ve pulled each other through a bloody marathon…now that was a fun but tough feat to do together. Even as a new parent myself, I am still leaning on and learning from my dad seeking guidance and support and we both would not want it any other way.
I look at my partner now, and all I see are the similarities between him and my dad. They are complete opposites in so many ways, but simultaneously they have similar traits, and those traits are the good ones, the ones that make him the best dad for our daughter and an amazing partner for me. I’m not saying coffee in bed every morning is the only way to have a successful partnership and that it sets a good example for your daughter, but I can vouch for the fact that that small act of love goes a very long way!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
My name is Miranda Oh, I am the author of the Chin Up Tits Out series. My motto in life is to always have a chin-up tits out attitude, no matter what! When the tough gets going, there is no shame in sipping some wine and having an ugly cry.
Life is a wild ride, sharing the twisted stories is what brings us together.
I hope that my stories bring you lots of laughter, some shock, and a few tears. I encourage alcoholic beverages when reading, it will enhance your reading experience.
I would love to connect with you, and never forgot to #chinuptitsout
Your life will change if you keep that positive mental attitude! Promise! Cheers to you!