BLOG: Canned Laughter and Coffee

Renee Bernhard

Renee BernhardOh, man. Jacqueline Frank. How did we trick Jacqueline Frank into doing CLAC?? I’m in love. But not that mushy pink lace kind of love. It’s more like that crush you get on rock stars. One that can lead to stalking and odd collections of stuff that start to look like a little shrine in your bedroom…

Hmm… Note to Self: Get out more.

I’m currently on deadline for a book. (Translation: Manuscript is due soon and I’m racing to finish it up and make sure I’m turning in a winner. Translation of that: I’m fighting my creative nerves trying not to second guess myself too much because I’ve gotten waaaaay too attached to these Jaded Gentlemen and Josiah Hastings in particular. The boy is sexy hot but he’s got that delicious tragic edge that makes you want to just cuddle him into submission. But people keep sending me scary emails and publishers are dropping bombs left and right, so I’m wondering how to invest in a writer’s flak jacket.)

I’m copywriting that one. “Writer’s flak jacket”. Like Stephen Colbert, I’m just gonna make it up and stake it out for mine!

I’m going to write a book “The Writer’s Flak Jacket: How to Survive a Detonating Publishing Market” by Renee Bernard. In which I will offer inspiring advice and insightful wisdom (or bizarre stories of how to limp along and make it look like a tango 😉 Any takers? Should I pitch that one to my agent for the irony alone?

Yes. Sure. Especially because when you’re on deadline, what you crave more than anything else in the world is more deadlines. I’m a deadline junkie. It’s official. I will do anything to score more deadlines. 😉

So there you have it. I’m on deadline. I’m wearing my writer’s flak jacket and I’m lighting my Jacqueline Frank Nightwalker candles…

Hmm… too much coffee? Is there such a thing as too much coffee? Anybody?