BOOK REVIEW Runaway Husbands By Vikki Stark
‘Pinpointing the exact moment life skidded off course’ – Abandonment and Healing!
Canadian author Vikki Stark is an international psychotherapist online and in her Montreal office, serves as Founder and Director of Sedona Counseling Centre, blogs in Psychology Today Magazine, and has been honored by guest appearances on The Today Show, Oprah, Time Magazine, and Maclean’s. Her books to date – MY SISTER MY SELF, THE DIVORCE TALK, PLANET HEARTBREAK, and this exceptional book – RUNAWAY HUSBANDS.
Stark opens her mighty volume detailing her own experience with having her husband abruptly, and quite unexpectedly, leave her upon her return from an extended book tour for her initial book MY SISTER, MY SELF, and in doing so details the emotional trauma such events can cause. She has outlined this event as the Wife Abandonment Syndrome, described as ‘a pattern of behavior on the part of a husband who leaves his wife out-of-the-blue from what she believed was a happy marriage. Following his sudden departure, he replaces the caring he’d typically shown her with anger and aggression. He often moves directly in with a girlfriend, leaving his bewildered wife totally devastated.’ As a marriage and divorce counselor, she explores this pattern from the POV of clients and other others in a manner that encourages understanding and healing for those women who have suffered this malady. She formed SWAP – the Sudden Wife Abandonment Project – and the results are shared here. ‘The crisis of abandonment is first and foremost a crisis of identity,’ and to that end Stark’s book addresses the phases of Wife Abandonment Syndrome and offers insights such as, ‘revise your beliefs about human nature, believe in your self worth, get accustomed to being self reliant and independent, expect good things for your future, and stay positive.’
This is a most important book that deserves wide distribution. Stark’s presentation is well researched and considered, and her manner of instruction is readily accessible – an excellent supportive guide for women who are confronted with this syndrome – and for all women who need to be aware of the signs and symptoms of Wife Abandonment Syndrome. Men also should read this book – to discover how toxic abrupt desertion of a marriage can be, not only for wives but also for children, and perhaps consider becoming a more advised partner. Very highly recommended.
