The 12 House Rules of a Fandom Family
by Heather Grothaus
Being an introvert with a taste for fantasy can sometimes be seen as a hindrance once one passes the age of, say, 30, and has children to bring up and educate. I admit, projecting the air of a sophisticated, rational adult while wearing a Hogwarts Alumni scarf and checking my 221B-outfitted phone can be a challenge in some mommy-cliques. But I defend my nerdy-parenting ways—and my Deathly Hallows license plate cover—by arguing that raising children on a literary diet of wizards and fantasy not only gives them an intellectual advantage, but exercises their reason and morals to such an extent that they can be confident about who they are regardless of the company or playground they find themselves in. Really.
Plus, I get to spend gobs of time with my kids, reading stacks of books and playing dress-up.
So here are the 12 House Rules for the family of one introverted, nerdy historical romance author:
- Don’t point your wand directly at someone unless you are ready and able to use it. Same rule applies to broadswords, bows and arrows, and/or trebuchet.
- Chocolate really does make you feel better about most things.
- Don’t go snooping in unfamiliar closets.
- No, you may never, ever keep a rat for a pet.
- Caring for another living being guarantees that you will eventually have your heart broken.
- Greed has dire consequences, My Precious.
- Your uncapped pen is probably not going to turn into a sword, but what you write with it can wound and maim as well as liberate and defend.
- Calling others ugly, hurtful names (sq*ib, m*dblood) is completely forbidden.
- A tear often has a bigger backstory than you could ever guess.
- Just because the world ended up not being flat does not mean dragons never existed. Tomayto, tomahto.
- Sometimes, the meanest people need love the most. And sometimes they need Azkaban.
- Cloaks go with everything.
If you’re also a “fandom family,” you probably already have similar rules and, in that case, 10 points to Gryffindor. If you happen to see us at Ren Faire or a Hogwarts Readyfest (we’ll be driving the dragon with the British flag vanity plate), come and say hi. We can compare replica wands and novelty tee shirts. Or just wave. That’s cool, too.
Just don’t be surprised if the four-year old tries to sort you. It’s okay—she’s usually right.
Speaking of 12, I just realized my February release, CONSTANTINE, is my 12th novel. Whoa. 12 Rules. 12th novel. Coincidence? I think not.
CONSTANTINE by Heather Grothaus
A shadow has fallen over the medieval Holy Land, and four courageous Crusaders have banded together to root out the enemy. The Brotherhood of Fallen Angels have dedicated their lives to the pursuit of justice. But is there room in their hearts for love?
Evil is everywhere, and General Constantine Gerard has witnessed more than his share. Yet he never dreamed the ugliness that darkened the castle at Chastellet would cost him his wife and child. Now he has nothing left to lose—and nothing to live for, save the vengeance he vows to unleash on Glayer Felsteppe, the man who destroyed his family.
Theodora Rosemont, too, has suffered at Glayer’s hands. When Constantine finds her, she is barely alive, and desperate to find her baby, who was snatched away by Glayer’s men mere moments after his birth. Bonded by their common enemy, Constantine and Dori embark on a treacherous journey, determined to rescue the child and vanquish the father. But as emotions run high and secrets are revealed, passion could compromise their quest, leaving more than just their hearts in peril . . .
You can purchase CONSTANTINE at:
About the Author:
Before writing historical romance, Heather Grothaus worked as a successful freelance journalist, short story writer and magazine writer. Her work has been featured in such publications as Kentucky Living, Countryside & Small Stock Journal, and The Recorder Newspaper’s Creative Living magazine.